I thought a long time today about what I wanted to discuss. I am working for Master, so writing scintillating comments of the men I’ve played with so far was at the top of my list.
One man in particular, we chatted online, got into the writing of sex. His lips brushing against my breasts, his hands slowly sliding over my body, pulling it into him as he kissed me from my breasts to my neck and back to sucking and nuzzling both. In our chatting foreplay, he slid his fingers into my wet pussy, sucked my clithood piercing into his mouth, bit, nibbled, and touched every inch of my body, figuratively. His long, cock slid over my labia to my back hole, pumping, teasing, then back to my clit, and repeated the action over and over. Again, figuratively. In our chat I straddled his lap, raised up, and inch by ever so slow inch he lowered me onto his throbbing shaft.
I masturbated per Master’s desire the entire time, but I did not come. I had already taken care of five men online and through phone calls. I’m so wet and still horny. This slave knows Master’s desire is for me to make men come while I teeter on the edge, waiting until later when Master will give me an orgasm.
That was what prompted my thoughts on my mindset.
I’m naked from the waist up. I’ve walked through my house partially naked all morning. I ate breakfast this way, when I made lunch. When I finish this post I will be naked as I continue to work for Master and later when I put clean dishes away, add dirty dishes to the dishwasher, and cook supper.
What does all of the above have to do with my mindset? My actions are a direct result of it. Master gave me a command. However, Master is not here. In fact, I won’t see Master today. I could easily not complete any of his commands but lie when we talk and say I did. But telling Master I did something when I actually didn’t is not the mindset of a slave. I am wired to please Master. I never want to disappoint him. My obedience pleases him above everything else. I am not submissive in most areas of my life. Sexually I am. But obeying Master pleases him. And thus I work hard at being the slave he desires.
I often fail. And I feel it.
I am in tune with Master. I do not have to physically be in Master’s presence to know when he’s pleased with me and when he is not. That is part of my mindset as a slave. It doesn’t mean I don’t act out. I am far from the perfect slave.
However, I work hard and too often not repeat the same mistake over and over.
My mindset as a slave is needy. It is difficult to get out of.
Because I look to Master to fulfill me. It ranges from what I wear, to who I see, to work, for myself and him, and the list goes on. That need too easily translates into the “give me” concept. “Master…you’re not…why can’t…” are all words I use to convey I want Master to do something my way.
He joked recently about me behaving. It was during a needy few weeks. My reality is 24/7 I am a slave. I don’t get to take off and put away, so to speak, at the end of the day, on the weekend, etc. of being a slave. Every hour of every day doing what pleases Master comes before I act. I am not complaining. I choose this life. But I forget it takes a lot for Master to manage his slave.
I am harder on myself than Master is. He is quite patient and indulgent. When needed, I receive my punishment. He’s very creative and it’s the time I spend alone afterward that reinforces the point he wanted to get across.
As you can see, the mind of this slave is always on her Master.
**It’s four hours later. I have finished my work for the day. Master is doing his own thing and I am doing mine. Adrenaline pumps through me. It’s a high I always experience after a day of talking to men.
My body is primed since I’ve spent eight hours today being a sexy slut for Master. I’ve had sex without the physical satisfaction. I’m exhausted but too revved up to relax. There’s a buzz in my head like the electrifying current running through my body. And my mind is on Master.
I have questions, wants, desires, needs. It’s the same every time. I know he’ll take care of me. As always. I don’t always allow him to wait for his timing. I contact him. Tell him I’m needy, etc. His answers vary. This time I plan to wait until he’s ready. But it sure is difficult.