As I write the words, obedient slave, my pussy throbs, and I feel myself getting wet. While I open this post with this note, that isn’t what I plan to discuss
Being obedient to Master has its own rewards. As noted above. I’ve also written how freeing it is. As I complete my assignments, whatever they may be for that day or week, inevitably I come across men who decide Master isn’t the one for me. They are.
For my new followers, I see men for Master. I play with them per his requirements. It satisfies his desires and the slut in me he wants to cultivate.
But that leads to issues with men. Two weeks ago, I began talking to a young man. He is in his 20s which Master likes. We discussed playing with one another. He asked where, when, etc. All was fine until the man wanted to add requirements of his own. “I want to see you to just kiss and cuddle.” “Can I see you once a week for a quickie?” “Why can’t you come?” And on and on. Each time I explained I am a black-owned slave and Master controls every part of me. Each time the young man’s reply was, “Not Fair.” I blocked him.
Then there are the men who want me to find a friend to bring to the party. I enjoy having sex with more than one man at a time. I haven’t had sex with women. That may happen when Master allows it. Master isn’t opposed to the idea of me having sex with multiple partners. What he doesn’t allow is someone dictating my play time. We’ve left that young man behind as well.
Monday, I spoke with a guy I’ve seen once. We parted ways when he didn’t want to follow Master’s requirements. I only messaged him because he emailed me from one of the websites we’re both on.
This man is a Dom. He knows Master’s requirements and, after a short time, he became critical of what I do for Master. (Mind you he has 5 women who work for him). He did so the first time I added Master’s requirement to the mix. He noted Master was just a pimp who paid me for my time; who abused me; who allowed men to abuse me and wouldn’t help me if that happened; and who wouldn’t be there for me if I got caught.
In the past, I would have let this man’s words and derision sway me. I do have an issue with needing to please. In the past, I have tried to please everyone. Not just a man but mother, father, family, late-husband, sisters, friends, church members who asked for my assistance, and the list goes on.
The man clothed his opinion behind the words “real and reality.” He attacked my age. Told me I wasn’t worth the money for my time. I was only good for cleaning his house. He attacked my character. He told me I was weak-minded. I was just like a woman he was getting out of trouble with her past Dom who hooked her on drugs, sold her to men who abused her, and then abused her himself. I let him go on and on. Not because I needed to please him.
Let me say, in the past I would have agreed with him because I believed his opinion mattered more than mine (not Master’s but my own). I looked at Master’s flaws and wondered why I wasn’t good enough for him. I took every man’s critical assessment of me to heart. I believed every word.
Why? I can only say as a middle child my parents didn’t pay attention to me. Not because they didn’t love me, but because I was so easy-going and my older and younger sisters were not that they didn’t feel the need. While my late husband loved me dearly. And he did. He put farming, spending all his time and our money into that. I have felt invisible all my life. So those who say they see what’s going on in my life, saw me, I believed it must be true.
This time I didn’t fall into old habits or his trap. I understood the man wanted to assert his authority over me, someone who doesn’t belong to him. To sway me to his way, get me to leave Master, and work for him.
Not all men are belligerent when trying to get me to leave Master. Some are so sweet. They use kindness to get me to walk away. It also had an affect on me. These men were right here not long distant like Master, and I thought maybe I wanted that.
And I am sorry to say, I let those things come between me and Master. I allowed these men into our relationship. A lot of things have happened Since February. I have finally stopped grieving over my late husband. That has been an obstacle. On Valentine’s day, Master called me and told me he refused to let me go. The rest is private.
Over the next week, Master left me alone, gave me space to get my head and heart in the right place. And no, he didn’t make that comment to get me to come on board to his way of thinking. He wanted me to be certain I was doing what I wanted.
I reflected on what I wanted. What my kinks are. How Master had/has been beside me (in his way) during a car wreck, 2 surgeries, and for the past 2 years grieving over my husband. What Master had taught me. What I had learned. What I wanted to do. (Just because I am a slave, I choose to be one. And I cannot serve Master, or any man, if I don’t choose to). In every situation what I have with Master won.
So, when the Dom was finished with his rant, I wished him a good day and left. Oh, by the way, that same Dom messaged me yesterday and asked for a pussy shot. I ignored him. I may turn his words on him. He has 5 ladies that supposedly please him in every way. So why would he want to see my pussy, the one he trash talked days before.