“Make sure you let them know you’re a black man’s whore.” Sir’s silken voice was no less of a caress over my skin than his skilled hands.
“Make them understand I sell your body at my whim.” His tone grew forceful.
“I own you.”
“My property, do you understand, bitch?”
My Dom had used those words a hundred times, maybe more. This time I fully embraced the meaning, his ownership. They weren’t just words I hear over the phone or see in a text message. We live apart. Hundreds of miles separate us. And so, we stay connected constantly through our cell phones.
Long-distance relationships are challenging. The addition of obedience and protocols and discipline in an M/s relationship adds stress to the relationship. The last three years, Master and my relationship has evolved. I have grown.
Recently he asked me to read an article on things subs should know about their Doms. Parts of the message were difficult to take in. There are factors in my and Mater’s relationship that do not apply, and items we’ve discussed again and again. And will do so until we work them out.
However, what transpired was a mind shift within me. One point in the article noted subs should help their Doms evolve. That the sub should steer her Dom in the direction he needs to go. The article said the difference between a sub manipulating her Master was her intention. She does so with his interests at heart, [him first in mind, body, spirit], even when they conflict with her own.
I knew that was who I am, but for some reason until I read it, I wasn’t able to vocalize it. Once I was able to tell Sir, it was an aha moment for me. Now, I could not only say, “yes, Sir,” but show him in ways I previously believed did not matter to him.
The article stated, “…we (Doms) are with you for a reason…” My black Dom is committed to our relationship. I had to stop and take that in. I’ve analyzed it thoroughly. I’m calmer. When he asks me to do something, which I’ve always strived to obey, I do so now with a calm assurance that he is invested in me completing my assignment, command, protocol. He doesn’t always have to say ‘good girl, I’m proud of you, or good job’ every single time because now I understand his commitment to us trumps any comment he’d ever make.
Yes, I am a black man’s whore. I am black-owned. Sir’s property. Now when I hear him say them or I tell others who I am, it is with every fiber of my being. I am where I belong.