While I have known Master Michael for a number of years, our relationship was strictly business. During our time together, we indulged in impact play and bondage. Anyone unfamiliar with the term impact play, it is where one partner hits the other partner, using hands, instruments, so forth.
I freely gave my consent for Master Michael to spank and cane me. I frequently requested for him to pinch my nipples, use tie up my breasts, add clothespins to my outer labia. One of my favorite ways to experience impact play, is being blindfolded, hands tied, a butt plug inside me, and Master Michael caning my ass. Every time he hit the plug, shocks of desire coursed through my entire body. I’d get wet, my clit enlarged, and soon I whimpered to be allowed to come.
Now that Master Michael is one of my Doms, Master Tyrone’s limit of not causing me a lot of pain, is no longer valid. Last week, Master Michael told me to expect and accept a lot more pain the next time we were together. I sputtered that I couldn’t, and our conversation ended with a caution that it would happen.
Wednesday, I emailed him that just because he gave me a command, I couldn’t magically tolerate more pain. I went on to say I’m an erotic masochist, not a woman who loves pain for the sake of pain. Briefly, I have a high sex drive. On top of that, I feel everything. I wear them on my sleeve, as the saying goes. So my feelings play a part in what I can tolerate.
I enjoy a few light bruises, but nothing that covers my entire ass and thighs in deep purple bruises or broken skin. I gave an example of a some of the things Master Tyrone and I have experienced. Specifically mindfucks during our own scenes.
Both men mess with my mind when we’re together. Their methods are different. Master Tyrone is more vocal, while Master Michael relies on more physical means. So he asked me what did I get from the vocal mindfucks.
Stunned, I couldn’t answer. I let him know I’d send him an email.
Last night, I sat down and began writing what was on my mind. I didn’t think, I just wrote how, I felt with Master Tyrone, how his words and actions made me feel.
I came back to one item. Master Tyrone and I have had seven years to cultivate an intimate, emotional, mental, and physical connection. We talk daily when we’re apart. I’ve submitted to his directives to modify my body, change my diet, lose weight, cut my hair to his liking, and change the way I dress. I have fulfilled most of the kinkier things he desires. I belong to him.
In contrast, I saw Master Michael a few times a year. Before he became my second, Dom, he went through Master Tyrone to set up our meetings. After adding more today, three full pages worth, I stopped. This seemingly simple request to tell him what I like has become larger than life.
I had always enjoyed my time with Master Michael. Our kinks are the same. We like one another and have a good time. However, until we signed the contract, I didn’t belong to him, nor was he mine.
And we’ve only had a few months to become more acquainted. To me, it’s too soon to jump into his deepest darkest desires without creating a deeper bond and developing feelings for one another.
My letter has evolved into a long explanation of how Master Tyrone and I became close. How during his mindfucks, his words touch not only my mind but my body. Often he directs me to play with myself while he watches. Even though he never touches me, it’s his hands on my nipples, clit, inside my pussy.
It might not sound like a big issue, but I’m hurting right now. I hurt because I do not want to upset Master Michael. I hurt that I cannot tolerate more pain without that long-time connection. I hurt because this is the process of a new M/s relationship.
By Monday, I’ll have a two or three paragraph email to send to Master Michael instead of three pages. He and I will work this out and come to a compromise that satisfies us both.
mastersplayroom.com 