Beyond the Edge of Control

Day Twenty-Two of orgasm denial.

Last Wednesday, a well-known discussion between Master and I on top of this month’s orgasm denial, and the edge I stood on crumbled beneath my feet.

Inside a mental and emotional void, I went off on Master.

I thought I had let him know well enough that I was too stressed out. We had discussed it Monday, and he allowed me to come. It took several hours for my body to let go of the stress. It wasn’t until Tuesday that I felt better mentally.

The mental relief didn’t last and by that night the stress weighed on me.

I threw a fit. My fits are well-versed. I made sure I wrote everything down. I used facts. What I didn’t do was wait and speak to him. I wrote an email and sent it late that night. He didn’t see it until after we spoke on the phone Thursday morning, and after he did his best to soothe my fears and show me he was there for me.

We live apart. I let my emotions take control, and I’m sitting at home alone letting you know I messed up. I made a mistake.

Not having orgasms has taken a backseat to this punishment.